Saturday, 16 February 2013

Been a good few days

So this weeks weigh in showed another loss it was half a pound less than I had hoped but I found it much easier and quicker to snap out of that and celebrate the another healthy week of eating and not focus on the side issue of weight loss.

One thing really struck my in the meeting, a couple of people were talking about having meals out and how they would save or allocate syns so they could 'enjoy' their meals out. Other spoke up offering advice on not being to hard on themselves as it was special occasions and they should just relax and enjoy their food. Now I agree with the don't be hard on yourself mentality, OK I'm still learning how, but agree with the sentiment!

But what struck me was the realisation I was surrounded by people who were not only able to 'enjoy' food but actively prioritise it as part of the eating out experience. But for me the worst bit about eating out is the food - Goodness I just realise how odd I sound. Socialising and having a laugh is my priority, but the food.... hmmm. Don't get me wrong its not that I don't like eating good food, who doesn't? But for the last twenty odd years the activity of eating out has been something I have hated, though I am much better than I used to be the old feelings are still there in some form or another. For many years I struggled to even eat my lunch in front of co-workers. Eating was a daily issue, three times a day plus all the hunger pangs I ignored chipping away at my sanity between meals.

The feelings of intense discomfort (bordering on panic at times) used to begin before I even enter the restaurant I would monitor what I ate that day and not eat lunch to 'allow' for the extra and unknown food that night. When it came to looking at the menu a couple of other factors come into play my money worries over the years would often been going for whatever is cheapest and my dyslexia means I am a slow reader and this gets much worse when I am in a stressful situation. I still rarely read a whole menu, its more scan it and pick something quick. I will constantly monitor others around the table, how much they are ordering, how many bread sticks they have eaten. Not because I care about what the effect of what they eat has on them as that's their lookout. But I feel I need to try and eat less than everyone else there if at all possible, I'm still not sure about this rule. I don't know where it came from but if I see someone else eat more than I would I then eat less than I had planned to try and balance it out.... yeah.... that's a weird rule. I am interested as to how the experience of eating out will be now, and I get to find out next month if I can sort out a baby sitter for our anniversary. 

I have also been interested to listen to the members of the group that fill syn boxes of all the things they miss mainly chocolate bars for the week. It never even occurred to me to fill a box like that. A box full of what you love healthily measured out seems like a great idea, but I would worry I would eat it all in one evening and old habits would emerge. I was having a lot of chocolate before this one bar a day sometimes two, eating on the run, hiding from stress or just habit - lots of reasons. But I decided to go pretty much cold turkey on it and its working for me. I have had a few Ferraro Rocher and that went well so I decided this week that I would buy a bar of 'nice' chocolate to divide into syn allowances so I could have a treat in back up for when I fancied it. But I forgot my guide book, and didn't know which one to get! I saw some interesting chocolate mint rice crispy bars but didn't pick them up as I didn't know what their 'syn cost' was. But it felt very different from the restrictive behaviour of the past, I wasn't giving myself a hard time it was calmer focused thought of 'I'm not in possession of all the facts on this and I want to make an educated choice' I will check the stats and go back next week with a couple of ideas of what I would like to go for.

And now for some pretty pictures!

Only a couple of new recipes for this week as I am starting to repeat favourites from previos weeks now. This one has definetly been added to the favourites list. Called Chicken pizza melts, a chicken breast covered in tomatoe, mushrooms, peppers and cheese - baked in the oven. It said to finish off under the grill to brown it, but it came out looking like this so I didnt bother. Tasted amazing.

This is a ham and cauliflower cheesey bake. Healthy honestly I followed the rules and everything! I wasn't blown away to start with but it grew on me, hubby liked it as well. I think it would be better with fresh cauliflower, but I forgot to pick some up so used frozen which is nowhere near as nice.

 Finally tonights dinner of chicken Korma, I do like a curry with peas in. This was very yummy and not to sickly as I find some kormas to be. The cream taste was added using Fromage frais and had the interesting idea of serving with a lime slice to squeeze ontop. However cutting a lime for just two slices seemed such a waste... so we had it with Gin and Tonics as well!

Either tonight or tomorrow morning I am going to make a chocolate cake... which is something that would normally be a huge temptation for me to have in the house. Its a new recipe and follows the plan rules so even if I have a couple of bits I will still be on plan. Lets see how it goes :-/

Big progress this week in both my attitude to things and my ability to keep motivated and focused rather than run away from food, on a side line halfway to loosing the little bit of weight I wanted to as well as being told by three people today that I looked slim, healthy and very well - all this hard work is starting to pay off... *happy and tired sigh*

PS - sorry for spelling mistakes but spell check didnt want to work tonight! Grrrr
PPS - sorry about odd spacing it looks fine and just goes like this when I press preview! Double Grrrr

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