The Food Guru? ;-)

I have recovered my sanity after the lack of weight loss really well. I have not taken any action that could be described as over-compensating since Tuesday morning. I have re looked at my food diary and seen a couple of things I haven't accounted for properly and altered what I was doing as a result, but that is correcting a mistake not stopping all treats or indeed all food which would have been my old coping strategy. Very proud :-)

One thing that has utterly amazed me is the amount of people asking me questions about food, requesting recipes and saying I have inspired them. To say I am flattered would be an understatement of immense proportions, inside my head I keep going 'You do all know I'm the one with the eating issue, right?' What the hell are you asking me for?!?!?! But as some of you have witnessed the change has been out of this world and I'm not that person anymore, I don't think about food like that anymore, I have sensible things to say and most importantly I behave in sensible ways. I still have to remind myself I'm not that person anymore, its almost like an out of body experience when I hear myself talking about food.

As well as taking advice from Penguino I had a long hard think and have not made any change to this week meal plan, to cater for the 'Super Express' solution to 'lose weight fast' That's not what I am in this for. I have upped my fruit a little bit but that's all, and only back to the amount I was having in the first few weeks. I have also tried to shake up my food a little...literally in the case of tonight's dinner as the easiest way to coat the veg before roasting was to put it in a Tupperware and shake it!! Hehe!!

Lunch today was a spinach salad with tuna and soft boiled eggs, but I fancied a bit of crunch so I added crisps. 'Crisps!' I hear you cry. Well myself and my sis-in-law have been experimenting with a healthy version of crisps. I have taken the micro wave option, cut potatoes, sprinkle with smoked paprika and stack in one of those plastic racks that looks like an old slide carousel. Pop in the microwave for 5-7 mins and there you go. They are not at all bad and add a lovely bit of crunch :-)

This weeks discovery has been Harrisa and rose spice paste. It has a *bit* of a kick ;-) The first recipe I used it in was a pretty mild vegetable tangine, but tonight I used it to coat roasted veg and it was a little bit hotter! I decided to pop some Quark on top to cool it a little, but it was extremely nice.

So onwards and upwards. I am feeling stronger and more determined than a few days ago. I am craving cake and stodge and chocolate as us women can tend to do at certain times of the month. But so far I have been calm about how I satisfy my craving for sweet things and stay within my plan. I bought a Dairy Milk caramel bar on Tuesday after the shock I had in the weigh in, I didnt even think about it and that was old behaviour setting in. But I caught myself and didn't scoff it down before I had even got out of the car park. My old response would have been I didn't loose weight - I cant loose it - I'm not in control - I give up - I don't care - buy chocolate and eat it. I wouldn't have tasted or enjoyed it, I wouldn't even have really noticed it until the empty wrapper was in my hand and I felt that surge of disappointment in myself again.... Which would often lead to another chocolate bar.  But I took the bar home, worked out it had 12 syns in and decided to have half on Tuesday half on Wednesday. I took the first bit and ate it really slowly and really really enjoyed it. I then spread it out through the day. I felt no guilt and I enjoyed it much more for taking the time to notice I was eating it.

I am also deeply in love with the chocolate orange cake recipe I was given. This time I made it as cupcakes, topped with quark and orange. But the bit that makes me smile even more than how yummy they taste is the comparison to the little Kipling country slice next to it. Mr Kilping cake 6 syns - verses - chocolate orange cake of yummy which is 1 syn *happy dance*

So with recipes like that and a new found ability to eat chocolate in a slow and mindful way you can see why I am feeling a new surge of determination. I will still avoid making myself a 'treat' box as I know I would then begin eating chocolate because it was just there. Once I am a little further down this path and these new ways are becoming more of a habit I will get to a place where I am happy and comfortable to have a little stock of yummy in the cupboard. But I am very aware of where I am now and know its not time for that just yet.