Sunday, 24 March 2013

Been a bit quiet but I guess that was going to happen as I settled into this new way of being. By triggers are not as big or triggered as often - how nice! However something a lady said to me this week really hit the ouch button. I was chatting to some of the ladies at my evening class as I had just turned down a cookie for the 10th week in a row. I said I am so close to my target that I wont have one until I get there, but I was looking forward to having one then. One of them said 'Oh you know you will put it all back on' OWWWW! Now I know she was just throwing her baggage at me and this says way more about her than me, but it left me smarting.

She doesn't know me or anything about my issues, but for me what would putting it 'all back on' mean? That food was winning again... that I had forgotten all I have learnt over the last few months... that I was back believing my old rules or worse still I had created some new ones. All bad stuff and not from the vain 'Oh no I have gone up a dress size' mentality. But it has highlighted for me that there is to be another period of adjustment when I reach target as I don't want to continue to lose weight, I will have to increase my syns of add more healthy extras (I don't understand exactly how best to do that yet) But it is going to mean re-introducing some previously 'bad' food into my diet and learning a new acceptable and healthy amount to eat. I haven't really made a conscious choice to exclude these foods but with so much other experimenting I haven't had enough room in my tummy to fit them in!. But I hadn't realised how nervous I felt about those foods until that woman's comment, so I thank her for the increase in awareness her throw away comment gave me.

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